I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
