In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
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