GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
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