You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
Randomize
