I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
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