If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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