My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
somebody snuck up and got me drunk
I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
Randomize
