I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Randomize
