But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
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