I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
Randomize
