It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
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