i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
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