I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
Randomize
