Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
