i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
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