drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
Randomize
