i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
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