Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
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