Yo dont text me then not text me
I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
Randomize
