Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
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