I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
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