They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
This gyro tastes like lonliness
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
Randomize