You were right. It hurts to walk today.
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
Randomize
