I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
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