Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
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