google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
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