We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
Randomize
