I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
Sacagawea was the original milf.
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
Randomize
