He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Randomize
