I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
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