I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
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