I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
Randomize
