You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
my sisters under your porch take her home
The police scanner is talking about you again....
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
Randomize
