How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
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Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
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Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
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