your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
Randomize
