come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
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