My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
Randomize
