He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
her facebook's as public as her vagina
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
