I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
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