omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
Randomize
