Sry I called you an 8
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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