I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
I have fence marks all over my body
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Randomize