im gay
i know
yea but for you.
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
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