what if every blade of grass was a penis?
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
