Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
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