Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
Randomize
