They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
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