That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize