I am puke
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
Randomize
