3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
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