I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
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