She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
he quoted the bible to break up with me
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
Randomize