I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
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