Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
He kissed a someone with a penis
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Randomize
