There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Randomize
