So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
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If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
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i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
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