If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
Randomize
