i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Randomize
