If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
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