awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
Randomize
