i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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