I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
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