What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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